When I was coordinating the biggest event on my university’s campus, I was worrying all the time. I had sleepless nights, on courses I was mentally absent, I was thinking nonstop that something won’t work. So I decided that I have to find ways to cope with it. Fortunately, for thousands of years, we have had stoic advice that helped me stop worrying.

Real or imagination?

The first thing is to analyze a situation. Philosopher Seneca has written that most often our worries are a result of our imaginations, not actual situations. So analyze facts and ask yourself if your worries are real or if you just imagine bad things that won’t likely happen. It is like counting the probability of the situation. If something is not probable to happen, then it is not worth thinking about it. How strong is the possibility of dying in an airplane crash? It is 1 in 11 million. If you are worried about whether you or someone you love will survive the next flight, remember this number.

What can You control?

If, after analyzing a situation, you found that something that you worry about is very probable, then follow the second tip, which is concentrating on what you can control. You cannot control events that will happen to you. You cannot control others’ decisions, feelings, and behaviors (unfortunately). But you can control your mind, your thoughts, and feelings about situations. So choose to see the event calmly or neutrally.

This tip also helps with enjoying the present moment. The past happened, and the future is hard to control. You have control over what is present. If you worry about what will happen in the future, ask yourself what you can do now so that your worries won’t materialize. If there is something to do, then do it; if not, accept it.

Worst case scenario

You can accept the worst thing by using negative visualization. Visualize what bad can happen, what you will feel, and decide what you will do. This way, you are preparing yourself for the worst-case scenario so that when it happens, you will know how to cope with it. Project managers use this in their work when they prepare a risk management plan so that they will be prepared when a risk materializes.

Practice

If difficulties happen to you, treat them as an exercise for practicing stoicism. If you go to the gym, you know that training is not easy and comfortable, but it makes you stronger, and you feel better after that. The same works with troubles in life. Every obstacle is an exercise for your mind and a test of your calmness. So enjoy these difficulties because they make you strong.

Your goals in life

The other tip that stoics recommend is to have clear goals in life. They found out that having clear goals in life reduces stress and anxiety that comes from uncertainty. So stop for a moment for reflection and write your goals in your notes. Goals not written down have a high chance of not being achieved. 

But remember, craving for more makes people anxious. If you want more money, wealth, and a better status, then these things will make you worry. Ask yourself if they are necessary and how much is enough. Don’t chase for more and more because then you will never be satisfied. 

Others opinions 

The next stoic tip is not to listen to others’ opinions. There are as many opinions as people, and if you would like to analyze these opinions, you would find that there is nothing you can do that will be accepted by everybody. Your opinion about yourself matters more than others’ opinions. If you feel that you behave well, then keep doing what you do; if not, then stop. Remember that if you did something embarrassing, people will forget later. So don’t think about things that you did when you were drunk.

Reflect

The last thing that Stoics recommend is to reflect daily. Examine all events during a day and ask yourself if you acted accordingly to your values. It builds self-awareness, which is crucial for being happy. You can examine if you followed some of these practices mentioned above. I recommend writing your reflections so that later you can read and analyze them. 

These were tips that I found while reading Stoic books. If you want to know what books I recommend, you can read this article. One of them is Seneca’s Letters, which you can always have with you by downloading the Wiser Life application. I hope that after implementing these tips in your life, you won’t be worried and you will cope with every obstacle.